Hopes and dreams, even the most basic sense of "I am?"Restless, I got up and turned on the light. I looked on the unopened bottle of Pisco, the local brandy, sitting on the dresser. I knew that offered nothing for me other than momentary oblivion. I had to decide what to do. Should I stay here, wallowing in my anger and despair? Should I go home and try to put my life back together, making something when I felt as if I had nothing?I made a commitment to myself to end this indecision tomorrow. I had cadged a flight on a news helicopter with a photographer who had done the photo work for several of my wine articles—not his usual line of work, but as a favor to me. We would be making low and high level flights over the devastation zone, and would land on a hill about a half-mile from of where the clinic had stood. I resolved to move on, and try to invent a new life without the sweet girl that had meant so much to me since that kiss in the rain fifteen years ago.The flight was a. I hada suitcase full of women's clothes, and a gym bag full of bondage gear.And not enough money to meet her demands. She wasn't going to be happyabout that, but it didn't matter, there was nothing I could do about itnow. They'd cut over time at the plant to a bare minimum. And with allthe purchases she was demanding of me, I was getting pretty broke. Iknew she wanted me self bound, and thoroughly so. She'd demanded thefull nine yards, and seeing as she's snuck up on me before, by showingup early, I wasn't taking any chances. I was ninety minutes early.Having showered and shaved earlier, I was ready to dress up for Kartina.I removed my clothes, folded them neatly and placed them on an oldtable. I pulled on a red thong, blushing in the humiliation of workingthe material up the crack of my ass. Next came the pantyhose. For somestrange reason, she insisted on a pair of black Burlington Coat FactoryControl Tops. Once I started putting them on, I knew why. These thingswere so.
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